Some Definitions : -

• School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
• Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
• Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
• Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
• Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
• Father: A banker provided by nature.
• Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
• Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
• Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
• Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
• Classic : Books, which people praise, but do not read.
• Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
• Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
• Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
• Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
• Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
• Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Excerpt from Danielle Steel's Autobiography: It took me twenty years to discover I had no talent for writing and even less imagination. But I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous and rich.

One Good Insult : -

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

:-)

The movie industry is not up to the times yet. They rate movies R, meaning 'children under 17 are not admitted without parents.' But children under 17, these days, are parents.

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

Don't argue with your wife in the kitchen, Coz she knows where everything is and you have no clue..... :-)

They say teaching sex education in public schools promotes promiscuity. With our educational system? If they teach it the way they teach science and math, there is nothing to worry about.

People really don't think through this recycling business. The wrapper on your FastFood ( Guess) hamburger might have been used to blow a nose or clean something else.. lol

At one of his plays, a heckler shouted at George Bernard Shaw, "Your play stinks. It is a disgrace." Shaw walked up slowly on to the stage and replied, "Oh, yes, I agree with you completely. I think it stinks too. But then, who are we two to argue with the majority?" The crowd, absolutely loved it

G. K. Chesterton and George Bernard Shaw, two leading literary figures in the annals of history, were also compatriots. Chesterton was a heavy gentleman, in contrast with Shaw who was lanky. Once Chesterton chanced upon Shaw at a club and said jokingly, "Looking at you, Shaw, one would think a famine had hit England." Came this quick riposte from Shaw, "Looking at you, Chesterton, one would think you caused it."

" What is fortification?" " Two twentifications!"

My baby just crossed two and my wife and I started potty training. Which I think is important because when we want to potty train the baby, we should set an example

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When the same thing happens to a man, he will assume the clothing has shrunk